To all the mamas out there struggling to love your body,
I see you and I know you so well. I’ve been where you are right now, I’ve felt uncomfortable, like a stranger in my own body. You feel one way about your body and then you see a mirror or a picture of yourself and think “there’s no way that’s what I look like”. You’ve read all those social media posts telling you to just love your body for all the amazing things it has done. You try to act like you love your body, you try to convince yourself that you’re ok with looking the way you do. You want to build yourself up by focusing on the amazing things your body has done, because it HAS done AMAZING things! You’ve grown a person in there, you’ve nourished that person with milk your body made, your body really is AWESOME…
BUT there’s still always this feeling lingering… that feeling of inadequacy, the feeling that your body just is not what it once was. Trying on clothes is an emotional roller coaster, isn’t it ok to just wear sweat pants or leggings every day? Do your kids really need you to get in the pool with them this summer? Because swimsuit shopping is the WORST! It’s easy to look at a friend and tell them their body is beautiful even though it isn’t what we’re told is “perfect”. It’s easy for me to tell you that your body is amazing and that you should take it easy on yourself, but I know how you really feel inside. It is a constant struggle between wanting to just love yourself exactly as you are right now and feeling like you don’t even know where this body that you’re in came from.
You wish you could go back to the body you had before kids and actually appreciate it the way you should have when you looked like that. Back when you had never actually broken down in tears while shopping for a dress to wear to your brother-in-law’s wedding. I know I’m not alone.
There’s still a few “skinny clothes” pushed to the back of your closet or sitting in a box somewhere in your house for that day when you finally find the magic trick that will help you fit back into them. Every so often you pull out a pair of jeans from “back in the day” and wonder if maybe they’ll fit because you’ve been eating better for a couple of weeks now, so maybe they’ll actually fit. This is followed by half a tray of chocolate peanut butter brownies because they don’t fit and that diet was no fun anyways. Maybe there’s a way to just be content in this body.
You’ve tried juice cleanses, the cabbage soup diet, pills, shakes, waist trainers, that weird 3-day military diet, and every one of those “5 minutes to your perfect body” Facebook videos… sometimes you lose a few pounds, but those pounds always find their way back.
This isn’t me telling you to just love yourself right now because I know it’s not that easy. This also isn’t me telling you I think you need to change anything about yourself. This is me telling you that I see you, I know you, and you are not alone.